Begin Again Page 7

  I couldn’t go tomorrow. I’d be telling the town I was okay with Josh’s death, when I wasn’t. I’d never be okay. And I couldn’t hurt Luke by giving him the wrong idea.

  Mind made up, I leaned my bike against the side of the building and headed inside.

  Chapter 8

  Maggie

  “Two crab burgers, fries, and one country-fried steak with extra gravy,” I said as I slammed the order ticket on the counter, piercing it on the metal rod. It was almost one in the afternoon and I thought I’d pass out from exhaustion.

  “Thanks, Maggie,” Donte, our cook, said as I went to check on drinks. More customers walked in, taking the last of the seats available. With the knowledge of a new takeover in the works, and one week to go, everyone wanted to get another meal in in case it was their last. Which only made more work for me, but I couldn’t complain. The tips were pouring in and Marybeth would get the send-off she deserved.

  I was sweating as I went to the back to use the restroom. I needed a minute to regroup. Turning the tap on cold, I leaned over the sink and splashed my face. The cool water felt good on my heated skin. Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes and braced my hands on the counter, looking into the mirror.

  I look like a complete mess.

  My hair was coming out of its bun so I quickly redid it and stepped out. Three jobs were getting to me, but soon it would only be two.

  I pushed through the swinging door, and Donte yelled, “Order’s up.”

  “I got it,” I said as I went to grab the plates.

  Donte hurried over. “Hey, you okay?” His face was etched with worry. I smiled at him and my shoulders relaxed. Donte was an Italian sweetheart to ladies over forty-five and like an uncle to me. I respected him and he always had my back.

  “Yeah, just tired.”

  “Maybe you should go do something fun later and take a load off. You’re always working.”

  I smiled. “Pot calling the kettle black.”

  “Someone had to keep this place running as long as it possibly could.” He winked. “It wasn’t all Marybeth.” He was right. While Marybeth was the owner and also a cook, she relied on him to cook and help with the accounts. They were a team.

  “Don’t let her hear you say that,” I teased.

  “Someone’s asking for you,” Marybeth said as she deposited empty glasses on the window ledge. She turned to me with an arched brow and a knowing smile.

  I frowned. “Me?”

  “Her?” Donte asked at the same time.

  I shot him a look. “Why is it such a surprise that someone would be asking for me?”

  “Because you’re a recluse. To have someone asking about you, they need to know you exist. And since you never do anything, it seems unlikely they would.”

  I gaped at him and reached through the window to lightly tap him on the shoulder. “Donte!”

  He shrugged, bringing both palms up. “Hey, I only speak the truth.”

  “Get back to cookin’, Donte,” Marybeth said with a laugh. “Men. Now, why is Luke asking for you?” There it was, that glimmer in her eye she always got when she was about to discover something juicy. I needed to stop this before it got out of hand.

  I grabbed the plates off the counter, balancing one in the crook of my arm and two in my hands. “Probably just asking about the lake later.”

  Before she could say anything, I turned around and took the food to its waiting table.

  “Enjoy,” I told Paul and Ruby.

  Marybeth came up beside me. “Darlin’, that’s great news. Are you going?”

  I smiled at Dennis and Randy, who came in every day to eat lunch before going back work, before I went to the kitchen. Grabbing the empty ketchup bottles, I sat them on the counter and started to fill them.

  “I can’t go. I’ve got a lot to do,” I said as she followed me in, her hand on her hip.

  “Can’t go where?” Donte asked.

  I smiled and rolled my eyes. He was a nosy little thing, but I loved him. “Nowhere.”

  Marybeth waved a hand. “Pishposh. This girl has been asked to go to the lake later and she isn’t going.”

  “By who?” Donte asked, holding a greasy spatula in the air.

  Marybeth came closer and leaned in as if it were a secret. Though it kind of was, and here she was telling Donte. “Luke Easton. The hot fireman every girl from here to Chattanooga wants to settle down with—the one that kissed her.”

  “The blond?” Donte asked.

  “Yes, that one,” Marybeth said.

  “Yeah, you should say yes,” Donte said as he went to flip burgers on the grill.

  “Guys, thank you for your concern, but I’m not interested.” Marybeth scoffed, but I continued. “Besides, he’s only asking to welcome me back. Everyone is going. It’s not a date.”

  “Would you listen to her, Donte?”

  “I’m listening.” Donte walked up to me, his spatula pointed at my face. “You need to go. Go have fun. Be young and free.”

  “Oh, speakin’ of the handsome devil.” Marybeth started for the kitchen window when I saw Luke standing, looking in. “Hey there, sugar pie. You get enough to eat, son?”

  Luke’s smile was packed with charm, though I could still see the slight rings under his eyes. “Yes, ma’am. Thank you.” He looked up at me. “You have a minute?”

  “I—”

  “She most certainly does,” Marybeth drawled. “Now, you don’t want us listening to your conversation, so—”

  Luke intervened. “It’s nothing, just—”

  Marybeth waved a hand. “No, no, no. It’s alright. You two go to the back here. Just through this door. Come on, Luke.”

  Luke sent me an apologetic look before rounding the corner and coming into the kitchen. Marybeth never invited anyone in her kitchen unless they worked there, and I thought Luke knew that, which made it even more awkward.

  “Back here,” I said, waving him over. It was better to take him back in the room than to have him standing in the middle of the kitchen, uncomfortable.

  The room was small and only used to stock food and do some paperwork for the business. It wasn’t used for congregating, even though it was only two people.

  “That Marybeth is somethin’,” Luke said, taking off his hat. He ran his fingers through his hair to tame it down, but didn’t put his hat back on. I looked him over. I was womanly enough to admit that he looked good in his fireman’s uniform. It was casual but sexy with his dark cotton pants, light gray shirt, and red suspenders.

  “Yeah, sorry about that.” I bit my lip, not sure what else to say, and looked around the cramped room. Was it always this cluttered?

  “So I realized I probably put you on the spot yesterday about going to the lake. I know you’re busy and still…you know. But if you do go, we’d all love to have you.”

  My heart warred with my head, something it did often. I didn’t want to say no when Luke was so kind. What would be the harm in having some fun?

  “It’s not that I don’t want to go—”

  “She’ll go!” Luke and I both faced the door where Marybeth could be heard through the crack. “I’ll take her.”

  Luke opened the door. “Only if Maggie wants to go.” He turned to me. “I’ll be there at three. If I see you, great. If not, that’s okay, too.”

  He walked past Marybeth, and she quickly came in the room and shut the door. I stepped back to offer her more room when she took my hand.

  “I know this isn’t my place, but you should go. It doesn’t have to be for Luke. It can be for you. You’re such a beautiful woman,” she said, reaching out to place her hands on my shoulders. “Live again. It’s what Josh would want.”

  My eyes stung with tears. “It’s so hard. I don’t want to let him go.”

  “No, never.” She wrapped me in her arms and I rested my head on her chest, needing to be held. “Josh will always be with you as long as you remember him. He was good for you in the time you had each other. No one is
denying that, but you have to move on for you. Okay?”

  I stepped away and wiped my nose with the back of my hand, nodding.

  “Is that a yes? You’ll go?”

  “I’ll go.”

  “Oh!” Marybeth clasped her hands together as if thanking the stars. “I just knew this week was going to have something good come from it. I told everyone it would.”

  “But I don’t get off until four today.”

  “I’ll call in Trina. She’s always lookin’ for extra hours. Don’t you worry about a thing. Go home and get ready. I’ll be by to pick you up.”

  Throwing caution to the wind, I thanked her and went home. To say I was nervous was an understatement. After I finally got my lock to cooperate, I rushed in and went straight to my closet to browse through all my clothes. I quickly realized nothing was in there that I’d wear to a lake, so I searched my dresser. It was hot out and I needed something light and airy.

  After minutes of debating, I went with a light pair of cutoff jean shorts that were high waisted. They fit nice and snug, and I paired them with a white cotton sleeveless V-neck. I couldn’t believe I was doing this, and that I was excited. I wasn’t even aware I was smiling until I turned and caught a glimpse of Josh’s things sitting in a box on my dresser. With slow steps, I walked over to the box and grabbed Josh’s shirt, smelling his faint scent.

  My heart ached. How did people move on after such a loss? They did it all the time. And here I was holding on to a dream.

  Marybeth was right, and so was Josh’s mother. I had to keep going. The world wouldn’t stop for me.

  Smelling his shirt one last time, I neatly folded it and placed it back in the box. I knelt and shoved my shoes to the side on my closet floor, making room as I sat the box down. It was a start, and I knew if I needed to, I could always come back to it.

  I checked the clock. Marybeth would be there soon. Last minute, I decided to wear my bathing suit underneath my clothes before I rushed from the room, grabbed my white Converses, sunglasses, beach hat, and my bag with various things I’d need for later.

  ***

  Luke

  The grill was on, slabbed with burgers and hot dogs. Everyone looked like they were there, minus Neale who was on his way with the kegs. I went and picked up a few packs of beer to hold some of us over until it arrived, along with some soda and iced tea I brought from home.

  While the food was going, I grabbed my towel and wiped at my forehead. It was hot today and I was thankful for the pavilions. But that sun didn’t bother me. I was always out in it.

  A group of people were already hitting the volleyball court, which reminded me that Neale was also supposed to bring a football and flags for later.

  I took a healthy sip of my beer when I saw her. She was over by the dock, searching the area. Looking for me?

  Damn, I was screwed. Did she know how she looked in those shorts and shirt? You’d never know she had curves like that. She was always so modest. Then again, summer clothes for women were almost always a bittersweet thing for a man. Especially when the man needed to keep his eyes forward.

  “Dale, would you watch these? I have to meet someone.”

  “Sure thing, bro,” Dale, one of my firefighter buddies said, grabbing the spatula from me.

  I jogged over, but stopped when I saw Neale and a few of the guys bringing in more stuff. Ernie was with them, and I didn’t miss the lingering stare.

  “Hey, man. Meat going?” Neale asked, setting the keg down at his feet.

  “Yeah, I’ll be back in a minute.”

  “You have stuff to get? I can set this down with the food and come back to help you.”

  “Nah, it’s not that,” I said, bringing my hand to rest at the back of my neck. Neale frowned and looked over where my attention was directed.

  “Holy shit, man. Those hips…”

  “Watch it,” I warned him.

  He lifted his hands. “I’m a guy no matter what, dude. It’s my job to notice. You better get to her before some other punk does.”

  I pretended to punch him in the arm before jogging over to her. Her hair was extra wavy and was bright in the sun.

  “Maggie,” I yelled and she turned to face me, her hand over her eyes despite the fact she was wearing sunglasses.

  “Hey,” she said with a shy smile. I noted that she was carrying a bag and offered to take it for her. “Thanks.”

  “I’m over there with the food if you want to walk with me.”

  “Okay.” We started our way over and I knew she could see what I was seeing. Several eyes were on us. I looked over my shoulder at her, giving her an encouraging smile. She smiled back, but if she weren’t wearing sunglasses, I’d know it didn’t reach her eyes.

  “Is here okay?” I took her to the nearest tree by the pavilion, where I could selfishly keep an eye on her. Since she was there, and I asked her to come, I felt somehow responsible, and a little protective.

  “Yes, thank you.” Once I put her bag down, I relieved Dale from the grill.

  “Can I get you something to drink? We have beer, soda, juice, I think, and some sweet tea.”

  “Tea sounds good. I’ll get it, though.” She hopped up off the ground where she’d laid a pink towel down and came over by the drinks. “Cups?”

  “Down here sitting on the bench. Sorry, I don’t know why they aren’t out on the table. Sounds like Neale had something to do with that.” That got her to smile a genuine smile and I found myself relaxing. I wanted her to have fun today.

  She surprised me when she sat on the bench where I was grilling. “Do you need any help?”

  “Nah, almost done, then we can eat and do whatever.” Do whatever?

  “Sounds good. I’m starving.”

  “How’re those muscles of yours today?”

  She took a sip of iced tea. “A little sore. Nothing too bad.”

  “I imagine the type of dance you do has something to do with that.” Jesus. It was hard to talk normal around her sometimes—especially when she looked like that.

  “Ms. Warner!” Amy, in a frilly pink and yellow bathing suit, ran up to Maggie.

  “Hey, sweetheart,” Maggie said before she hopped off the bench and grabbed Amy in her arms.

  “Can you go swim with me? No one else wants to. They’re playing in the sand. They don’t like water.”

  “Aw.” Maggie held the little girl close, gently running a soothing hand over her back. “Of course.” She glanced at me as if asking permission. I waved her away, gesturing toward the lake with my spatula. “Sorry,” she whispered.

  “Go have fun.”

  “I need to get out of these clothes, Amy, so wait here a minute, okay?”

  “Okay, Ms. Warner.”

  Maggie glanced at me once more before going to her bag. Amy climbed on the bench and sat on top of the table, staring at me. I didn’t mind kids. In fact, I loved them, but the way Amy was looking at me had me wondering what was on her mind. Did kids pick up on attraction?

  “Do you remember me? Ms. Warner is my teacher,” Amy said as I chopped onions.

  “Of course, I remember you.”

  “Good. Because I remember you. You took me in the firetruck. Ms. Warner teaches me stretches and twirlies. I like the twirlies the bestest. But she does it better than me.”

  This girl was full of energy. “I’ll bet by the end of the class you’ll be a pro.”

  I shouldn’t have glanced over. Maggie had already taken off her shorts and was midway pulling her shirt off. She had on some dark red crocheted bikini underneath that looked too good with her recent tan.

  “Kick me in the balls.” I quickly turned to see Neale holding a football and gawking at Maggie.

  “Neale.” I nodded toward Amy and his eyes widened.

  “Sorry. Talking about…this,” he said, lifting the football in his hands. Amy only blinked.

  “Smooth,” I told him.

  “Hey, how was I supposed to know?” Neale started messing with the hambur
ger buns.

  “You ready, Amy?” Maggie put some white robe-looking thing around her, clutching it tight. I didn’t know whether to be happy about that or disappointed.

  “Yes!” Amy quickly came off the table and reached for Maggie’s hand, and the two of them started walking to the lake. Eventually the cover-up was tossed aside, while they both splashed around in the water. I envisioned her and I in there together, her legs wrapped around my waist and me kissing her neck…

  “You are so screwed,” Neale said.

  Yeah, I know I am.

  I laughed and pushed him. “Food ready?”

  He turned the music up louder. “Not too much longer. Then we can eat and start having some fun.”

  I glanced back at Maggie and saw that Ernie had joined her and Amy. My spirits fell.

  Chapter 9

  Maggie

  The water was perfect. How long had it been since I went swimming? Too long.

  Ernie had just left after asking me out. It came out of nowhere, and I was surprised he’d done so.

  Amy started rubbing at her eyes.

  “You tired, honey?”

  She nodded. “Yeah.”

  I laughed and picked her up in my arms, and she laid her head on my shoulder. She was done. I grabbed her towel and draped it over her as I took her to her grandparents. They were already starting to pack up.

  “Leaving?” I asked.

  “Yes, dear. We’re both beat. And it looks like this one is, too. Thanks for playing with her.” Gus was a sweet guy, but he’d aged so much in the last year.

  “Not a problem. I had fun. See you tomorrow?” I asked Amy.

  She only nodded again and I passed her over to Gus and waved goodbye to Marie.

  After grabbing my cover-up, I made my way toward the pavilion where others were gathered making their plates. Luke was digging some water bottles out of the cooler when he spotted me. I smiled and he smiled back.