Begin Again Read online

  “It’s all I thought about when I was away.” I winked.

  “Oh, stop, Luke. You spoil me.”

  “Hey, did Maggie leave early? I needed to talk to her.”

  When Marybeth grinned, I knew I was in trouble. Neither I nor Maggie needed this kind of attention. And by tomorrow—maybe even tonight—rumors would be started.

  “I’m sure she’s around here somewhere.” Marybeth turned and looked in the kitchen. “Maggie,” she yelled. “She’ll be out in just a moment, sugar.” She grabbed a pot of coffee. “Gotta keep ’em hot,” she said before sauntering away. I laughed. Marybeth was old enough to be my grandmother, and despite being a portly woman, she had no insecurities. The men ate it up.

  “Yes?” Maggie asked. Her head was down as she came out from the kitchen, tying her apron behind her back. I didn’t have time to get a good look at her earlier, but even her uniform looked good on her petite frame. She was tiny but had curves in all the right places. But her personality was her best adornment. Her eyes widened when she finally looked up and saw me. “Is everything alright?”

  I could kick Greg. “Everything is fine. Just wanted to apologize for earlier, that—”

  “It’s okay, Luke. Really.”

  “No, it’s not. Greg’s new and obviously not from around here, but he asked me to speak on his behalf and say that he was sorry.”

  Maggie shook her head, her ice blue eyes peering up from beneath her dark lashes. “Tell your friend, apology accepted.”

  That was easy. “You always this nice?”

  She shrugged and offered a small smile. “I guess it’s just easier.”

  “Nah, I think it’s just who you are. Never change.” I tipped my hat at her and walked out into the warm spring air. Her beautiful face stayed with me for the rest of the day and into the night, and I wasn’t so sure I could keep my promise to her ex.

  Chapter 4

  Maggie

  “Thank you for having lunch with me, Maggie. It means so much to have you back.” Karen sat teary-eyed, sipping on her sweet tea outside Honey and Biscuits, the only other diner in town. It was smaller than Marybeth’s, if that were possible, and the food not as great. But, then again, I was partial.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner. It’s just been…” I wanted to say it’d been difficult, but I was speaking to my ex-fiancé’s mother. She knew it was difficult. She’d lost a son.

  Karen reached a hand over the small table. The large umbrella that hung over us shielded the sun from her eyes. She looked tired and like she’d aged ten years since I saw her last. “I can’t imagine losing my partner. If Mike were gone, I’d be so lost. How are you holding up, honey?”

  I smiled at her, my eyes clouding with tears. “I don’t know.”

  “Aw, you know you can come over anytime. I’d love to have you. Mike would, too. You’re still a daughter to us, no matter what.”

  “Thank you, Karen.”

  She sat back in her chair and brought her sunglasses down over her eyes. I suspected it had more to do with hiding her tears than shielding the sun. Karen was always a strong woman and didn’t like to show weakness in more than little doses at a time—she always had to keep it together for the family, as she’d said many, many times.

  “Are you coming to the summer festival?” Karen asked.

  “I might.”

  “Honey, you must. It just wouldn’t be the same without you. Plus, those little girls are going to want their teacher there. Besides, you and Josh loved going to these things.” Realizing what she’d said, she brought a hand to her mouth. “Listen to me.”

  “It’s okay,” I told her. “Josh was the life of the party. I know people will be missing him.”

  Karen leaned in again, resting her elbows on the table, and stared at me for a few seconds before speaking. “Magnolia, as Josh’s mother, I think if anyone could tell you this, it’d be me. Honey, you have to move on. It’s what Josh would want. He wouldn’t want to see you so down and wasting your life. You’re a talented young woman.” I had to turn away and focus on something else. “You’re so beautiful and full of life. It’s what he loved about you. Smiley Maggie, remember?”

  Smiley Maggie. I remembered how Josh would nibble at my ears right after he’d call me that whenever I was feeling sad, just so I could laugh. It made me laugh now. “Yes, I remember.”

  “Come to the festival. Be with those who love you. Start over. Believe me, there’s no one sadder than I that my boy isn’t around anymore and that he didn’t get to live out his life with the woman he loved…but nothing would give me more joy than seeing you live for him.”

  I looked back at her and put a hand over hers. “Thank you, Karen. And I’m trying. I really am, but it’s hard.”

  She squeezed my hand in hers. “Best thing is to always stay busy and be open to new possibilities.”

  When I didn’t say anything, she said, “Men.”

  Despite myself, I burst out laughing. Leave it to Karen to make me laugh over something personal like that.

  “I guess we’ll see,” I told her, though I wasn’t so sure I’d ever be with another man. Josh was everything I wanted. And as fast as he came into my life, he was just as fast going out.

  “You bet, and on a more serious note, how are you handling the news about Marybeth? I’m so sorry you have this on your plate as well.”

  I sat up straighter. “What’s wrong with Marybeth?”

  Karen’s mouth opened. “Oh, I thought you knew. Marybeth can’t keep up the diner.”

  “Is she sick?” I felt like I could vomit. Not her, too.

  “Goodness, I hope not.” My shoulders relaxed. “No, she can’t afford to keep it open. Besides, she’s at retiring age, anyway.”

  Marybeth hadn’t said anything to me. Had she shown any signs she was closing down? I couldn’t think of anything to suggest so. But, knowing her, she would try to hold off as long as possible because of my losing Josh.

  “I should probably see how she’s doing and if there’s anything I can do.”

  “I’m sorry to be the one to have to tell you. Honestly, I was worried about you. I know you have two jobs to help support yourself. If you need any help, honey, Mike and I will be more than happy.”

  I offered her a polite smile. “And I thank you for that, but I’ll be fine. Really.”

  Vick and Nancy strolled by our table with their poodle, saying their hellos. Karen got up and put some money on the table. “Breakfast was a joy.”

  I stood and came around to hug her. “Thank you. It was good seeing you again, Karen.”

  She hugged me tight. “Same here, baby. Don’t be a stranger.”

  “Too small of a town to be,” I said, leaning back and smiling at her.

  “There she is,” Karen said, tapping at my nose. “I’ll be praying for you, sweetheart. And I hope everything works out for you.”

  We finished saying our goodbyes and I went back to my apartment to prepare for my afternoon classes. On the way, I stopped in front of Luke’s door. Last night I’d seen him walking across the park. Turned out he lived on my floor. He wasn’t there and so I left to get ready. It was hard to focus being threatened with the possibility of losing my job. I’d have to find something else.

  A trip to the local market and one movie selection later, I was set for my night in. After the events of yesterday, plus having lunch with Josh’s mom earlier, I wanted to lie in bed in my comfy clothes, snuggled with Mr. Pickles and a pint of low-fat ice cream, and forget about the world. Maybe I’d go crazy and eat the entire thing.

  I lay back with my cat nestled on my lap and hit play. Sleepless in Seattle. Now there was a love story. I was at the best part, where they were to meet at the Empire State Building on Valentine’s Day, when my cell phone rang. Disappointed, I hit pause and answered, not bothering to check who it was.

  I should have.

  “Magnolia May Warner, what are you doing tomorrow?”

  I cringed, not only beca
use it was Caroline, but because she insisted on always using my full name.

  “I don’t know. I’m working at the diner and then I planned on maybe cleaning my apartment.” It was the only thing I could think of that didn’t sound completely lame. Truth was I was still breaking in to this town after being a year away. And with everyone knowing my business, hiding didn’t seem like a bad idea.

  “Oh, good. You’re not busy,” she said. “Listen, I’ve got to be out of town for a few hours, and Jenny is wanting to go to that thing they do every year at the firehouse.”

  I bolted upright, sending my cat flying off the bed. She wants me to take Jenny to the firehouse? Does she not know who she’s asking? “Caroline, I would love to take her, but I really—”

  “Oh my gosh, thank you! You’re an angel.” What the heck just happened? “Listen, I really appreciate it. She’s been wanting to go for a while now, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her she couldn’t go.”

  Or you could take her. I sighed. Now I was just being selfish. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

  “Thank you, thank you, thank you! It’s tomorrow at three.”

  “Okay. That’s the time I get off, so I’ll shower, get ready, and be at your house as soon as I can.”

  “Perfect.”

  We hung up and I nervously bit my nails, my movie no longer of interest. I was supposed to be done with the firehouse and now I was going on purpose. And for several hours.

  My thoughts turned to Luke. He’d be there, wouldn’t he? Wasn’t this for the whole crew and town? Not that I cared one way or the other if he was.

  I grabbed my pillow with both hands and leaned forward, pressing my face into it. Why did I say yes?

  ***

  I still didn’t know the answer to that question as I walked hand in hand with Jenny up the steps to the fire station. Families were already there and children dragged their parents along, eager to be a fireman for a day.

  “Come on, Ms. Warner. We’re going to be late,” Jenny said as she excitedly pulled me toward the door.

  It was busier than I thought. People were everywhere. But what did I expect for a small town? Any time there was an event, that’s what you did for the day. No questions.

  “Okay, I’m coming,” I told her as she continued to drag me down the hall. I caught several questioning stares. They wondered why I was there or maybe if I’d finally moved on. My throat tightened. I couldn’t do this.

  “Jenny—”

  “Hey! Welcome to the annual firemen’s ball. I’m Angela,” a cute blonde said. “Are you guys excited?”

  “Hi, um…” How could I get out of this with the teenage girl and Jenny looking expectantly at me? You can do this, I told myself. “Yes, we’re excited.”

  “Oh, good. Ya’ll are going to have so much fun today. We have live music, barbecue, and a lineup of firemen later that you won’t want to miss. You’ll be able to bid for the sexiest one.” She winked at me.

  I will not be doing that. “How much is entry?”

  Angela snapped out of her fireman daze. “Oh, right. Thirty-five for adults. Twelve for children.”

  “Okay.” I dug in my purse for some cash and handed it to her.

  “Awesome. Now, there’s plenty for the little one to do if you want to venture on your own. The event is all day, ending at ten tonight.”

  Another girl about the same age came up behind her. They giggled and looked behind them. Curious, I stepped to the side and peered inside the firehouse. Luke was dressed in full attire and was putting his firefighter’s hat on as he talked to a group of guys.

  “Oh my gosh,” Angela squeaked. I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing. “Okay, Susanne, leave. I’m busy.” She turned her bashful stare to Jenny and me. “Sorry.”

  “You have a crush?” I asked, pretending not to know which fireman caught her eye.

  Her cheeks reddened. “Luke. I’m too young for him…well, not really. I’m eighteen. So who knows, right?”

  I remembered what it was like to be her age, with nothing but boys to cloud my mind. I smiled. “Who knows?” A line had formed behind us. “Well, we’re going to go inside now.”

  “Gosh. Right, I’m sorry.” She ushered us inside and whispered, “Don’t forget about the bidding later. They’ll be shirtless.”

  I had to laugh. “I’ll keep it in mind.” Luke was still talking with the guys and I quickened my pace, trying to get past him. I wasn’t there to admire firemen.

  “Hey, there’s Maggie,” some guy yelled. Crap. I turned and faced them. My gaze briefly landed on Luke before Ernie. Ernie and I had a lot of the same classes together when we were in middle school and often hung out afterward with our friends.

  “Hi, Ernie,” I said.

  He gave me a hug, the unexpected gesture catching me off guard, and I glanced at Luke who immediately looked away.

  “How have you been, girl?” I loved Ernie. Always had. He was the friend everyone could go to, but despite all his good qualities, he’d still not managed to find himself a woman to settle down with—a dream of his.

  I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, briefly glancing at Luke again. He hadn’t smiled and looked as if he was upset all of a sudden.

  “Just bringing Jenny here to enjoy the day.” Jenny smiled widely at Ernie. “Her mom wasn’t able to bring her.”

  Ernie frowned. “Okay. Yeah, I’m sorry about Josh. Some of the guys said you’d stopped in. Sorry I wasn’t here. I was off duty. Didn’t know you were even back.”

  “I didn’t tell a lot of people.”

  “Hey, it’s alright. Just glad you’re back.” Ernie’s gaze lingered on my face and something I’d never noticed before registered. Did he like me, like me? He cleared his throat. “Anyway, I need to get back to work, but…let’s get together soon.”

  “Um…” Dang it. I looked at Luke again. “Yeah, Ernie, sure. That’d be great.”

  He waved to the guys and left down the hall. I stood awkwardly, not knowing what to say or where Jenny and I were supposed to go.

  “Ms. Warner,” Jenny whined. “I want to go have fun.”

  “Okay, we’re going,” I said to her before addressing the guys who were standing there not saying a word. I turned to Luke. “Can you recommend a starting point?”

  Luke nodded. “Not a problem. Glad you both could come.” He smiled, but his brows were set in a straight line as if he found the words difficult to say.

  “Thank you.”

  “What’s your name again?” he asked Jenny. I was glad the attention was off me, even briefly.

  “Jenny,” she said with excitement.

  “Jenny. That’s right. What a beautiful name.” He knelt in front of her before giving me a knowing wink. Whatever bothered him seemed to have been pushed aside. “You want to be a firefighter when you grow up?”

  “Yes! I want to ride in the big trucks.” Jenny removed her hand from mine and told him all the reasons she loved the idea of riding around in a cool truck all day. Kids had such sweet innocence.

  “Well, the trucks are pretty cool. But before my buddies and I ride in one, we have to suit up properly. Would you like to check that out first?” Luke stood. He was so tall.

  She bobbed her head, eager to be whisked off and be a hero for a day.

  “Neale,” Luke shouted. Neale was talking to a crowd of families, holding a fire suit, and explaining the material they were made with. He held up a finger to the group before coming our way.

  “Yeah?” He looked at me and stuck out a hand. “Hey. Maggie, right?”

  “Yes, nice to see you again.”

  “Likewise. Whatcha need, bud?” he asked Luke.

  Luke tilted his head at Jenny. “Have room for one more?”

  My gaze snapped to his. He was passing Jenny off to Neale? Why?

  “Always have room for pretty ladies,” he said, and asked Jenny to follow him. Too excited for the experience, Jenny didn’t bother looking back.

 
“Is she—”

  “She’ll be taken care of. Neale’s a good guy. He’ll keep an eye out for a bit until he’s done taking them around the building,” Luke said.

  “Oh, okay. It’s just she’s not my child, she’s Caroline’s.” Ugh, why did I need to say that? Does it matter that she’s not mine?

  “I thought she looked familiar. Yes, good ole Caroline.” His look was almost comical, as if he was trying not to make a face.

  Had they dated? “What?” I asked.

  “That woman’s a piece of work,” Luke said, and the guys laughed. “Mind if I show you around?”

  Well, that was a quick change of subject. “Oh, um…I don’t really need…”

  “Right. You already know the ins and outs. I forgot.”

  A few awkward seconds passed. As much as I didn’t care to be in this place, I didn’t want to be rude. Besides, I was there, so it wasn’t like I could escape. “Actually, that would be good. The chief probably added some new touches.”

  “A little,” he said. “Are you sure? You can hang out in the break room for a bit.”

  “No, that’s okay. I’ll go.”

  “Alright, back to work,” he told the guys before we walked away.

  We made it a few steps before Amy spotted me, all smiles as she bounced up and down. “Ms. Warner!”

  I knelt with open arms and she ran to me. I scooped her up and kissed her cheek. Her grandparents, Marie and Gus, came over to greet me.

  “Magnolia, I didn’t know you’d be here today,” Marie said.

  “Yeah, Caroline asked me to bring Jenny. She’s out of town and couldn’t make it.”

  “Oh, that’s a shame.” Marie looked tired already and I wondered how long they’d been there. It couldn’t have been long because it had only recently started, which wasn’t a good sign for Amy.

  “How are you both doing?” I asked them.

  “Feeling our age,” Gus said.

  “You guys planning on being here long? I can watch Amy and bring her home later. It’s not a problem.”

  “I want to go with Ms. Warner. Please?” Amy grabbed her grandfather’s leg and gave him her best heartbreaking pout.